Our Third Review

Review - Leta Cooper LCSW

It is no secret that the foster system in our country for children is flawed despite the dedicated personnel and foster parents who do their best to make it work. We don't have enough foster homes, children are moved frequently, and the foster parents are dealing with children who arrive at their homes with very serious emotional issues they are not professionally trained to handle.

While this story gives us some insight into the flawed foster care system it is not a book centered on enlightening us about the system and ways to remedy it. Instead it is a story of one foster parent and child and their journey together through this flawed system.

Sandy went into this experience with hopes of helping Annie become like her own children. While this did not happen, she did help Annie to become a better person. Sandy, had to find other means to parent Annie, a foster child coming into a new foster home expecting to fail and be rejected. Annie challenged Sandy and her family at every step. Sandy remained consistent through the entire process despite the many challenges, but it wasn't enough to heal all of Annie's wounds. Annie found it too hard to accept and trust the love she received in Sandy's home and in the end left to find the answers for herself back home. When she couldn't make her mother into the parent she dreamed of, she became a parent herself.

While this is not a story with a happy ending in which Annie lives happily ever after, she does come through the journey with new skills and some awareness of the power of love. Annie doesn't reach her potential, but she shows that she is able to draw from the experience of being in a stable, loving home to help her parent her own child more successfully. So that perhaps Annie's child will never experience the painful childhood that Annie did.

This story is a gripping, realistic picture of the power of real people who deal with the most difficult issues of troubled children. It does not glamorize being a foster parent, but instead it shows us the difficulties encountered by both the parent and the child in this process. We witness the raw emotions, the pain, and the strength it takes to be in the fostering process. And yes at times the happiness of making a positive step towards health.

Sandy opens herself up to share the emotional struggles she experienced to help Annie. It is a heart warming depiction of one woman's attempt to make a difference in one teenager's life. This book is written to encourage the professionals who work with these children, the foster parents who deal daily with similar issues, and for the foster children who think they are alone and unloved.

I have known Sandy Knauer professionally for many years. She is an excellent therapist and is especially effective with sexually abused adolescents. However, it is through reading this book, that I have come to know how truly exceptional she is as a person.